James' Adventures As Head Of Family (Cos clearly Ginny sucks at it)

The thought that he might be going a bit mental did cross James's mind. He just didn't care. Now that his mother, who he'd supposedly been protecting, had decided to give up family life and decency to have a ridiculous affair (yes, that was what he was calling it, in his head anyway) with Professor HuffleSmith, that only meant James would have to keep a better eye on his other fragile family members; Lily and Albus.

But seeing as Albus was kind of going mental himself (James swore to himself he'd never been that much of an angsty teenager), James' only hope was Lily (or maybe he didn't have any hope at all). Lily was… Lily was… Lily was complicated (James also swore he'd never been that much of a twat as a teenager either). Lily was kind of frightening. But hey, James was her big brother and he was allowed to do whatever he pleased because that was his little, fragile, sweet, baby sister. That was exactly what she was. A baby.

James found himself knocking on his little sister's door, before pushing it open and waltzing into her room and closing the door with his foot. "Lilykins." he greeted her, his usual grin in place. "We need to have a talk." he nodded his head, his expression turning more serious. Thinking about this kind of stuff made him a bit angry. Murderous, sometimes. "The thing is. I need you to give me a list," he started, running one hand through his hair, while burying the other one in his jean's pocket. "How's the best way to say this?" he pondered, mostly to himself. He needed to calmly explain. "I need a list of every male person you speak to at school so I can break their faces."

He totally wasn't mental.

The sound of her door opening and closing hardly registered in Lily's mind - but James's voice did. Since when did any of her brothers visit her in her room? This was new. And exciting. If Lily could be excited about anything other than education. Which she was starting to believe that she couldn't be. When was the last time she felt excited?

Lily deigned to look up from the textbook she was studying to regard her brother. "What do you want, James?" she said, barely suppressing a note of curiosity in her voice.

Her lips pressed into a thin line. "Violence is usually frowned upon," she said, haltingly. "I can't imagine any circumstance in which me giving you a list of any male persons that I may or may not speak to at school so you can break their faces in will end up with anything constructive." James had completely lost it if he thought she was going to do anything he said with the words 'male persons' and 'break their faces in' in them. The last thing she wanted was for her brother to cause any more scandal, be it at Hogwarts or anywhere else; she didn't think she would ever be able to leave the house ever again if James did something irrational and ultimately (if she was really being blunt) stupid.

"Violence is not frowned upon when it's James Sirius Potter using it," James said, crossing his arms unhappily. "I'll have you know Lillian, that I'll use just as much violence as I want. And I'm allowed that because I'm oldest." And a boy. But he didn't say that. He kind of liked living.

"Lily," his eyebrows narrowed. "Just give me a list. I promise I'll be nice-ish to them and like tell them before I punch them? Give them a heads up so they can try to run." he nodded, satisfied with himself. There wasn't a chance on earth they could run from him though, the little bastards.

The thought of boys going after his sister, in a similar way as James had gone after other girls when he was at school, made the former Gryffindor want to cry. Was there any chance that boys had changed? Or that they were all gay? Because bloody hell, if there blokes still acted the same way as before James had left - no he didn't want to think about it.

"That's extremely ageist," she snapped, matching her brother by crossing her arms, too. "Violence is frowned upon, no matter who or what is involved, under any circumstances. You can just ask-" Lily cut herself off before she mentioned their mother, not wanting to have to discuss her or anything even distantly relating to her with anyone. Especially not with James, not when she’d worked so hard at being distant and keeping the large majority of her family at an arm’s length away. She had a reputation to uphold.

Lily pretended to think for a second. "No,” she said, simply, shaking her head stubbornly. She wouldn’t have given James a list of names even if she had any names to give – which she didn’t, because no one wanted to date the book-freak. Which was totally fine and dandy with her (boys and/or a social life would eat into precious time she could spend studying). "My life is my business, James. It is not some sort of plaything you can poke around with to see if it'll stand up on its hind legs and do a backflip." Lily eyed her brother warily. "You are not to meddle with it."

"I can just ask who? You know what! I'll just ask my self." James cleared his throat, "Why James… do you think violence is okay in your position?" he cleared his throat again. "Why yes I do James, and do you want to know why? Because that's the little sister over there, sweet and unspoiled, not like Albus, there's still hope and I will cling onto that hope like it's the last thing I have in this miserable life-" which it kind of was. "-So I think my conclusion is; Yes. I can do what ever I want and whosever's face that I want."

"Lillian!" James demanded, slamming his palm on her wall. "Your life is my business too!" he insisted. "You're my baby sister, someone needs to look out for you. And obviously our parentals are not doing the job and not a chance Albus is to be trusted, Slytherin git he is-" he took a deep breath. "Now. Come over here, sit on this chair, have a piece of paper and start writing, young lady."

He'd make an awesome parent one day. If kids weren't so awful.